Yellow peeps,… I am feeling down. No matter how determined I was to pursue my dreams, I am at the lowest of my life and it’s started to annoy me; started to drive me insane. The thought of being a total failure and being the ugly duckling in the family dragged me down even more. I want to quit but I cannot quit just now. The thoughts to suicide are coming in and out but I am too cowardice to take an action just because I was begging for my life to Gods. I wished I could live a little longer, a litter better. There dreams I want to pursue, there are people I want to see and there is a special someone I want to spend my life with. If I think about it, I cannot waste the breath I am bestowed. I want to live my life. Death maybe an answer to run away from the heartache but I am scared. At least by living, I know what to expect. I know nothing about being dead; but I have learnt to live.
I am tired. I am breaking down. I am vulnerable. I am trying. I am hanging on. But, one day if I suddenly disappear it means I have chosen my path. Maybe it won’t be brighter. One day, if I choose another path then it means I gave up; I am defeated; I am a loser. Please forgive me for all the things I have done; please remember me as a bright happy person and let it stay that way in your memory. “I am sorry and Thank you”. “对不起 和谢谢你们.”
28 November 2020, 12:37am
thehungrykittens.art.blog 