What are we?

…unedited… Previous chapter

For the past three weeks I had been working on back-to-back weddings. May to October had been the wedding seasons with June, August and October being the most popular wedding months in Bali. Of course, there were couples who chose to get married in other months, statistically we worked weddings the most in May to October. We often attended wedding exhibitions in February and November, while December and January, in our company, we chose to hibernate; we worked on slower phase, many of our team chose to take holiday or work from home too.

“So, you can’t help me this time?”

“Sorry… I really can’t. We have weddings coming up, your event is on the day we will have our final meeting with our clients. I feel much more at ease if I stay with my team.”

“No worries. By the way… did you receive my bouquet?”

“Bouquet?”

“Yeah, I asked a courier to send you bouquet yesterday. Wonder if you received it?”

“Aaahh… I wasn’t at the office yesterday. Let me check it?”

“Easy. It’s unimportant… Do you want to grab a cup of coffee?”

“Not today. I have to finalise the rundown and reconfirm everything with our vendors.”

“Okay… I’ll see you later?”

“Sure… bye!”

Andrew came to our office more frequently than before. It was nothing weird about it, our company had been using his manning for several events. Just, receiving chocolates and flowers were a bit too much. Well, I liked chocolates; I did not know what to do with flowers but to pay my respect at the temple. Probably, I was one of those weirdos.

I got back organizing my files. We had eight weddings in June this year; five weddings were from our division and the other three were from domestic division. Two out of the five weddings were huge deal for our company; meanwhile the other three were elopements. We would not need big team for elopements, so we were good to go.

“It seems you have a secret admirer Miss Willow…” Devan, our junior team came with a bouquet in his hands. We were waiting for a sample of hand bouquet for one of our brides. She wanted a small yet elegant hand bouquet for her elopement.

“Is that the sample for our bride’s? It can’t be!!”  

“Of course not! It arrived yesterday, the courier said it’s for you.”

“For me? Who’s the sender?”

Devan shrugged. “There’s a card, you’d better check it.”

I took the flowers from Devan’s. I checked on the card…

                Just wanted to pop in and wish you the best day ever!

                                                                                                                AT

‘AT?? Andrew Tan? Well, he did ask if I received flowers.’

“Who’s that?”

“Someone I know.” Devan gave me a flower vase so I could keep the flower on my desk. I used to get some white flowers but it had been so long. Looking at those colourful flowers felt a bit weird. I never receive flowers before this.

“Whoever sent you flowers, he needs to learn that you love food more than flowers.”

“Hahaha… That’s right! We need food over flowers after all… Anyway, I still have to thank him.”

“Tell him, next time he’d better send some food.”

“I’ll remember that!”

 I texted Andrew, telling him that I received the flower he sent. I could not tell how I felt; for once it felt different and weird.

It was something I never got used to; never from any of my previous relationships. Once I dated a guy when I was in my sophomore year at the university. I considered it as my first ‘real’ relationship as we shared more connection beyond friends’ circle but also with our family members. It was not last long though. I did not have any boyfriend until graduated and on my second year worked for an event company. It was not a pleasant memory, tangled in an abusive relationship for years; frightened to leave, too ashamed to seek for help as fast. I was grateful for the business trip turned a three months course which bridged my long-lost freedom. I did lose materialistic stuff that I had to leave behind but I regained my freedom and I got the help I actually needed when I was overseas.

Thanks to that experience, I became more cautious to start anew. It was not easy to break free and finally to admit my foolishness by seeking help. I found a great therapist who helped me to overcome my panic disorder and anxiety thinking that he might came anytime. I returned home after six months. I changed my number, got new email, relocated to a new office, a new place and cut all old contact that might led that abusive ex to find me. It had been some times.

“Miss Willow, we’ve received the guests list and sitting arrangement for W&T couple.”

“You serious?! Oh thank God!!! I was so anxious…”

“I feel you! I’ve been chasing them like an annoying bitch.”

“Good job! Let’s share it to Hello Guru, shall we?”

“Yep, on it.”

“So what do we have left for their wedding?”

“The rehearsal and the D-day.”

“Alright, we have less than 20 days to work on it… Anything that I can help you with?”

“Hmm… I’ve shared their chosen menu, chosen deco and layout… Ah! We still need to confirm if they bring their own bottles.”

“Ok, I can ask them. Let me know if you need anything?”

“Absolutely will!”

Days went by like a blink of an eye. Days became weeks then months. It had been a little bit over three months that we, I and Andrew, were together. I should say we were unofficially together since I, personally, did not know where it was actually started. We just got closer and eventually spent most of the days together. It was great, I felt like I was being treated like a special someone for the first time. I did not know I probably being too naïve? I was not supposed to question myself on this, but I always had this feeling that I was being too naïve to see the world; while the world was never meant to be seen as black and white only.

“So, you two are together?”

Grace who had been helping me stacking some leftovers wedding merchandise from two previous weddings caught me off guard.

“Hmm… You can say that. But I don’t put any tag on us, not now at least.”

“Is he being nice to you?”

“Yes, he is.”

“That’s good. What’s your plan?”

“No plan…”

“Kate…”

“Honestly, I am afraid. I don’t want to move too fast, but what he has been doing convinced me that I am ready. And… And that scares me.”

“Being scared is normal, nothing wrong about that. If he truly means it and you are ready, why not?”

“I don’t know Grace… I am happy but I still feel it’s going too fast. It feels like riding a motorbike in 110km per hour speed along Sunset Road on a busy morning.”

“Meaning?”

“It’s complicated? You’re on a high speed but there are traffics and you do whatever you can to keep your speed high in order to reach your destination faster.”

“Okay… That does sound complicated.” Grace and I laughed. I laughed because I was anxious and I believed Grace laughed because she could not catch up.

“Andrew’s sister will be coming back to Bali for Christmas.”

“And?”

“This weekend, his parents will arrive in Bali and they plan to stay until Chinese New Year.””

“And then?”

“They invited me to spend Christmas together, so…”

“So…?”

“So, I need you to come with me.”

“Oka… What?!”

“I said that I need you to come with me to spend Christmas with Andrew’s family.”

“No!”

“Please…!” I looked at Grace with my puppy eyes look.

“Aaah… Alright. I won’t be on my own so yeah, why not.”

“But what about your soon-to-be-fiancé? Will he be okay?”

“100%. He won’t be coming back to Bali at least until 5 January.”

“I hope his dad will fully recover before then.”

“I hope so. Last week when I was there, his father was much better. I talk daily to Henry or his mum on his dad’s.”

“If you think you need to be with him, just go. I believe he needs you more than I do.”

“I was planning to fly out again on 28 December, but I have my ticket on hold until tomorrow.”

“Okay…”

“Let’s go for ramen after work.” I gave Grace a thumb’s up for her ramen invitation. We had been locked at work without much social interaction that we normally avoid as much but still needed every once in a blue moon.

We finished our job earlier than expected, thanks to Devan and Indra – one of Grace team member. She had a bunch of muscles at her department, an opposite situation to mine. We decided to invite Devan and Indra to tag along for ramen, but they had plan with their girlfriend.

As it was a norm, Grace behind the wheel. We drove to Galeria – a popular mall about 15 minutes’ drive from our office. Once we arrived, we went straight to our favourite Japanese restaurant we were used to visit in past couple of years passing through the inside of a clothing brand. The sushi restaurant was also a step away from our favourite Udon restaurant. It was a typical mid-end traditional Japanese restaurant with wide selections of sushi, noodles, side dishes, desserts and of course beverages.

I went for somen set – somehow, I wanted cold noodles for the evening with tempura. Their sauce was amazing. Grace went for a set of shoyu ramen set; and we placed additional order of grilled skewer set, salmon seaweed salad and two scoops red bean ice cream for our dessert. We did not ordered more beverages as ours came with ocha.

“Tell me, what’s your plan? I learnt that you two will arrange a family meeting?” I listened to Grace while I was flipping pages to see if we wanted anything else.

“How did you know?”

“Andrew told me the other day.”

“Ooh… Do you think it is too fast?”

“Well, I personally don’t think it’s too fast as long as you two have talked about it. You see, there are couples who dated for as long but they ended up their relationship before they had a chance to take it to another step, but there are also couples who dated for a couple of months or even weeks but they got married instantly. Nothing is wrong about that.”

“I know…”

“How do you feel?”

“I don’t know… I am happy but at the same time I feel that I am on pins and needles. I don’t know why but the feeling is there.”

“Have you talked about it?”

“No, I haven’t. I don’t know where to start.”

“But you agreed on a family meeting?”

“Yea, after some thoughts. I am getting older too, I don’t want to be alone, you see. You’ll get married soon and when you are, I’ll be on my own.”

“That’s so lame!!!”

“Ha ha ha… Let’s see.”

Our orders were served, we ate it deliciously like it was the last food we would have. My head though keeps thinking on the issue I felt deep down my heart. I did not know where to start. I had something that I had been trying to sort out; however, I did not want to get anybody involve in this matter. Therefore, I never talked about it, or might be not yet.

We went to window-shopping after dinner. Andrew called when we were at a clothing shop, checking where I was and confirming if I went out with Grace. I enjoyed it at first of him checking on me but the more he did it, I found it troublesome. Ha!  I still sent him a regular update of my day to day activities. Before we went back home, we stopped by the bakery shop to get some bread, a slice of cheesecake and black forest. I was never a dessert person, but who would refuse a good bite?!